Category Archives: Buddhism
Feeling of loss
The feeling of clinging or loss is everywhere.
When you say goodbye to friends, when you wake up in the morning, when switching channels on the TV.
There is freedom in practicing to letting go.
Say “I let go without the feeling of loss. I embrace the new moment.”
Whenever I light an incense stick i say; “I make this offering without the feeling of loss”. It reminds me always to let go of the passing moment, to embrace the next moment.
Be good to yourself
Be kind to yourself.
Love yourself.
If you are hurting or sad or lonely, honor that.
Make time for yourself.
Let yourself heal.
Don’t expect so much of yourself.
Life can be downright brutal.
Let the love within you and others carry you through.
In time, you will see how much you have learned.
It is worth the journey.
Just ask people who almost lost their lives and
they will tell you that most of the stuff we fret
over isn’t that important.
Being alive is a great gift.
Don’t define yourself in such narrow terms as your work,
your body, your house, your kids, or your relationships.
Learn to see what is precious around you each day.
Do not take your good fortune for granted.
Be thankful and humble.
You do not have to justify your life with a big list of accomplishments.
Try to experience just being alive.
Try to belive in yourself, don’t look at this world.
Find your path and don’t give up .
Try deep meditation and spiritual evolution.
The ego is hidden from us
Ego-life is hidden from our awareness, because the untrained can only be self conscious for shorter periods of time. It is very trying for most people.
This is so because the ego believes that if your “being” was to take control of your life, your existence would be threatened. And on some level this may be correct. It would change you. And maybe you would not be able to command the necessary level of cynicism required to negotiate the contracts you normally do. You might get fired or your commission might go down.
But the fact is you would survive, you would probably just negotiate in a totally different manner. And maybe you would not be able to get the same contracts, but then you would probably be remembered for being such a loving person, and you might get some totally other contracts you just couldn’t get before, because you were such an idiot in the eyes of your peers. And your family might love you in a totally different way.
No-mind epiphanies
Every breakthrough of any significance I have made came to me in a flash. There was no logical trail of thought. No words in my head. Mostly I was just starring into the void absent minded. I think I was letting go of my ego so my being could just take over my body. And then I could see it clear. Suddenly. See it. Not hear it or think it. See it.
Words only came later when i was trying to see how to remember that, or convey it to others.
Osho explains it like this.
And then the explosion. In a moment, everything was transformed. The question had dropped.
The answer had come from some unknown dimension. Truth is attained through a sudden explosion, not gradually.
It cannot be compelled to appear. It comes.
Disarmament
If we are to evolve as humans we must dismantle our nuclear weapons systems. But these nuclear weapons was invented to reduce or remove our fear. So evolving as humans MUST be followed by much fear.
The same goes for people.
Acceptance
Acceptance is more than just suppressing the parts of your character that you do not like. Acceptance is: to not make any judgement at all. Huge difference.
If I become conscious that I am harboring negative thoughts, and i make judgement on that, then I am adding to those negative thoughts. I could be thinking, “Oh damn, now I am having those negative thoughts again.” So i have transformed negative thoughts into blame. It is a bad feedback loop.
E.g. I am desperately trying to be happy. This is amplifying it self. I am passing a judgement here. I am not happy, but i should be. Thus I get more unhappy. Because I should be happy, there is something wrong with me.
If I am to transcend this feeling of unhappy I must be just the observer, and not the judge.
Acceptance is about not having any opinion.
Thin line
Detachment versus not caring at all, and loving one self versus being egotistical.
In both cases there is a fine line between the beautiful and the ugly.
I have been pondering this question much, because my wife kept saying that detachment was important and that she truly believed that we both needed to take care of ourselves. It was not good if we depended upon each other. And this she said all the while she was working 60 hours a week, and if she got sick she would refuse my caring. (This too I found curious)
I have been struggling to reconcile the idea of detachment and being egotistical. Every time I read about detachment in Buddhism it immediately raised a conflict in my mind, because I was sure she was way of base. And what I was reading told me she was right.
But of course she was not right. She was being very egotistical. Because the very subtle difference is whether or not there is true compassion present in the equation.
What the Buddhist’s are talking about is being detached from the distorted perceptions the ego creates. This does not preclude compassion for the person you are trying to live with or a friend in need of help.
The sort of detachment my wife was talking about was in fact her inability to deal with emotions, stemming from childhood loss of both her parents.
Loving one self is also a very misunderstood concept.
We all know at some deeper level that it is wrong to love our selfs. “He is so hung up on him self”. And it is common knowledge that we will go straight to hell if we masturbate.
But it is ego-love that people are thinking about when they refute this. Along the lines of looking into the mirror an exclaiming “Oh how lovely I am. I love my self.”
In Buddhism that is not what loving your self refers to.
If a person you love is having a hard time you will sympathise with her. Maybe if she cries you will also feel the urge to cry. There is compassion, and you will try to listen to her pain, and help her in any way you can.
This is loving caring.
But often if you are in an ego state, and if you get the feeling that you are not performing as you should, you will give your self a really hard time. “Jesus I am such an idiot. I can never get it right.”
If you treat any of your friend or your girl friend the way you treat your self… can you image what would happen?
Loving your self is about treating your self the way your would treat your loved ones.
I understand now that there is at least two “people” present in me. My being and my ego. But I work with the idea that there are many more people present, and they all need care. There is the sad boy, and the quite one, and the one always yelling and trying to defend me etc. They all need care. I love them all. I cry with them, and I listen to them. This is love.
And acceptance is also a big part of this. I accept my self now. When I get a sad feeling, I try not to tell my self that I am a failure. I try not to make a judgement. Because if I keep telling me self that I must be happy all the time then there is depression right there for you.
Sex is the mother of desire
All ego-form arises from the want to defend your desires. And all desires arise from the need for sex and reproduction. It is the mother of all desires.
Only when an animal must defend it’s right to mate, will you see real aggression towards it’s own species.
That is why all religions disavow sexual pleasures.
Transcending sex and you transcend ego.
Loss
The thought of farewell is not what brings agony or pain it is the fear of reunion that is frightening. The prospect of non-reunion or the fear that the joy of reunion will not be mutual.
On the subject of who I am
Not invited or controlled by me, on their own volition,
these thoughts are not mine.
Therefore they are not me.
Thus i am NOT what i think i am. Literally.